You know the situation, a couple getting a little too amorous and it is clear to anyone watching what is on their minds; at which point some ribald wag shouts, “Get a room!” The thing is, do they mean a hotel room or a room in a self storage facility? There is a growing opinion that hiring a self storage room as a venue for a little ‘hanky panky’ is becoming more widespread but is this true or merely an urban myth?
Let’s examine some of the issues. Horny couples with a pressing need to find somewhere private to put their thoughts into action, is a well accepted fact. So what are their options? It is safe to assume that they do not have the option of a nearby house or flat. The desperate might choose a quiet corner of a building, a park or alleyway. None are exactly romantic and they are often cold or dirty. Worse still, the couple might easily be discovered which, for all but the most exhibitionist types, is a fairly un-appetising prospect. There is also the modern-day curse of the surveillance camera. It is no great surprise that the venue of choice has traditionally been a hotel. The advantages are obvious; a bed (normally a double), clean sheets, a warm, dry room and privacy. Long gone are the days of the hotel receptionist looking for proof of wedding rings and the same surname. So far, so obvious. So why look any further. Well, quite simply the cost. Hotel rooms are not cheap and in large towns and cities they can be staggeringly expensive. It can be cheaper if one books in advance and gets a deal, but our amorous couple are often not in that category.
So, what of a self storage facility as a venue? Well a potential customer can roll up and rent a room on the spot. Room sizes vary from the size of an old red telephone box, to the size of a double garage or larger. Length of stay is supposedly for a four-week period but self storage warehouse managers will often allow shorter stays. The rooms are spartan. As spartan as you get. Four walls, a ceiling and a door is about your lot. The walls and doors are often sheet steel, the floor normally concrete. It will be located on a corridor of other similar rooms which other customers may walk along. Clearly it is far from the comfort of a hotel room. It is not heated. It may well be dark and the walls and doors are not exactly noise resistant. Customers are expressly forbidden to live in their self storage unit and certainly cannot stay overnight. Also the facility usually closes at five or six o’clock at night. It is a perfect location to securely store possessions but is there any attraction for the pressing needs of an aroused couple? Well, it is private, it is cheap and often times there are very few customers about. One week of room rental is possibly half the price of one night at a hotel. An enterprising soul may install some form of furniture to make proceedings more comfortable but that is not exactly a spur of the moment thing. It is also only an option for a daytime ‘meeting’.
So is there any proof of such goings on? Simply put, are people actually having sex in self storage facilities? Unsurprisingly, there is very little actual evidence. My own experience working in the self storage industry is that there is the odd suspicion, even a spicy anecdote but very few self storage facility staff have found customers using self storage in this way. I do not doubt there are certain horny souls that may have used their self storage unit as more than a means to store their personal possessions but for the most part I suggest that this is merely an urban myth.